Second Trimester Niggles

I don't really know why everyone says that the second trimester is 'plain sailing'? 

In comparison to the first trimester sickness and the third trimester indigestion and heartburn I can kind of see why it is the lesser of all three evils BUT I kid you not when I say the second trimester brings with it it's own trials and tribulations! 

I am no longer throwing up multiple times a day but I am suffering with relatively severe SPD, chronic daily headaches, exhaustion and a new one for this week again......crying!!!!!!!! 

I feel like a bag of nerves! 

I come into work to 'discover' my chair has left me for for a slimmer owner, and my cool and collected reaction was to slam my bag on my desk and hurl my coat under my desk. Then I turn round, grab the spare behind me and crack on with my day feeling very aware of my mild over reaction. 

I have felt so confused at work that I am second guessing myself and when proof reading and checking work I am making sure that I'm not being over zealous or too flippant. 

The stress of the simplest of things like adding a new printer is just beyond me and has me flying out of the office in an over emotional blubbering state. 

I don't know what's happened to me! I was so calm, blissfully happy and relaxed and now I am tearful, scared to say or do the wrong thing, or even stick up for myself! I want me back from 2 weeks ago. I can't deal with people as a general thing, I have a short list of my lovelies that have a mutual understanding of my sensitivities and know exactly how to cheer me up or keep me on at least a level playing field, and for those I am eternal grateful for. 

The best thing about the second trimester is when you start to feel your precious bundle wriggling and squirming around inside you! For first pregnancies that is unfortunately a few weeks after consecutive pregnancies BUT every wriggle, every kick, every delicious tumble is what reminds me that I am an incredibly strong person! 

I have done all this before, and please don't tell me it will all be worth it in the end, that's what they said last time and I never got to bring my Penelope home, never got to change her bum, feed her, dress her in the prettiest dresses. But I have waited and fallen again and been blessed with my ray of sunshine from my beautiful angel as a Christmas gift! And I am doing all of this all over again! I have to feel the gentle kicks of my second daughter knowing she will never meet her big sister! 

This is my pregnancy and I will be putting myself and my little girl first, over and above everything else in life. 

My rules. My Princess. ❤️ 

A new direction

This is quite a tough post to write as I'm not sure how I should be writing it. 

I'll give you the bare bones first. 

I've found a potential gap in the vintage market which I am terribly excited about. It's main market will be pregnant ladies. Funny enough I myself am pregnant. I just started my second trimester today so I am 14 weeks only. It's a fabulous exciting time for me and my partner and a perfect time to launch this type of business as I will have my maternity leave to spend on building it. 

My main fear is not that it will fail but that my body will fail me again. I've been through pregnancy before, all the way up to 36+4 weeks, only to be told that my little Penelope was no longer with us. What if it happens again to me, as I am now fully aware that it can happen to me at any stage but also it might not happen and everything could be fine. 

My fear as far as this topic is concerned is what if something terrible happens and I must continue my work with other lovely pregnant women? What then? 

I think my decision must be to forge on with my plans but to remain focused 100% on my baby and making sure he or she is healthy and has the best chance. 

So watch this space, I have something terribly exciting for all you mothers to be and those planning to conceive. Trust me. You won't want to miss this. 

All my love, Fi xxx