I'd already recently gone through the items under my bed and the drawers in my bedroom and my clothes but I knew I had an entire suitcase of clothes under the bed that I hadn't looked at for a while.
It had my maternity clothes in it!
Looking at them is a real bittersweet feeling for me. Partly because I wore them when I was expecting our Angel Penelope, but also because I wore them when I was expecting our Rainbow Jessica and torn between hope and fear.
I knew I had to get rid of it all though, it's right for the soul.
All I kept was 1 tshirt with a sweet bump slogan that I bought when I was expecting Penelope and wore it this time around too ❤️
Even saying this I keep thinking maybe I should just go through the bag again, just invade, but honestly, once it's gone, does it really matter? It's just stuff!
The memories, the feelings, the people, whether they are here or not, that's what makes life full.
I felt, after Penelope, that with every small item I bought, it would make me feel better, but it didn't, it never did. And now, I'm having to declutter all of my hurt and grief all over again. I'm literally so relieved I'm doing it.
What's better is that now I have my beautiful Jessica to keep me company. It's like she knows, at 7 months old, when I need a smile or a kiss from her.
I love my girls ❤️❤️ family forever!!!!